Help Dad

In our house, 'go and help daddy' roughly translates as 'bugger off from under my feet before I cave into my murderous instincts.'  The notion that a toddler would be remotely interested in helping his father to more quickly and efficiently accomplish one of his many mundane chores is of course utter nonsense.

Here's what 'go and help daddy hang the washing out' looked like yesterday; both children emerge from the nearby kitchen and then...

1. Oscar (21 months) - waddle up to dad's feet; complain that the paving is too hot; engage in a semantic battle as to whether the floor is indeed 'hot', or just 'warm', or perversely 'coldy cold'; ask to be carried; climb onto bench then precarious table top (requiring full vigilance of father); climb off table then with dad's assistance dismount bench onto hot/warm floor; identify bright green bucket of clothes pegs; shake forearms with excitement; lift then empty clothes pegs onto paving stones and grass.  Shake remaining petals from sunflower.  Walk off.

2. Leo (4 and a bit) - loudly announce presence to garden occupants, neighbours with a series of beeping noises and commands; pirouette gently wearing only a pair of faded, baggy briefs; go back into laundry; emerge with badminton racquet; swish racquet through air like a sword; narrowly miss decapitating younger brother; identify morass of clothes pegs on floor and using racquet grind pegs into the paving, muttering something about stirring cake mixture.  Walk off, beeping.