I'M AT: A swag on the red, rusty sand of outback South Australia and the Northern Territory. A swag is a canvas sack with a mattress inside it and a thick waterproof bottom layer, into which you can easily slip a body, a sleeping bag, and a fly net.
On the 5th of March I took a trip with a company called Heading Bush. The trip billed itself as a 4WD safari from Adelaide to Alice Springs, going 'where the other companies can't'. I can't fault them on this - at times we were so remote that there wasn't even another vehicle for hundreds of kilometres, let alone a shop, or a coachload of coiffuered Americans.
The 8th of March was to be my 33rd birthday.
The trip took you along the old Ghan railway, which was named after the Afghan traders who first travelled the route from Adelaide to Darwin, using camels. Their camels jumped on each other's high backs an awful lot, and there are now estimated to be 200,000 roaming wild through the hot red desert. The anticipated highlight was Uluru, Ayer's Rock, which we reached on day six, but as it turned out this was far from the best thing about the trip.
This trip defies chronological record, and for one thing I've sent my map home so am not quite sure where we were at any one time. So...
THE PEOPLE
Ten days is a long time to be stuck in the back of a 4WD, sitting with your knees together and facing people who you might potentially detest. But they couldn't have been nicer. Brian, from Denmark, was my close mate for the trip - we drank together, set the fire, hiked the hikes, washed up. He was the only guy on the trip with whom I broke the cardinal taboo of discussing the other members of the trip. Piotr was a Polish guy whose English, demeanour and humour all improved as the trip continued - a very happy guy with a heart of gold. Sofia was the firestarter, a spark of life, Swedish, she also celebrated her birthday on the trip, three days after me. She bought me some sweets and I bought her some vodka. Marion, or Claudia, became Sofia's mate, and was a charming German girl who smiled and laughed a lot. Jasmin was an enthusiastic, charming, deep-thinking Austrian, who was increasingly interested in the wildlife and the countryside, and spent much time with Steve, our driver and guide. Gloria was Canadian and didnt change her t-shirt for the whole trip, nor take off her hat. To find that she was actually quite beautiful underneath that hat, as we sat in a bar together on the last night, and after a change of clothes, was a revelation. Bella and Sammy were mum and son, Germans. Bella had a very dry sense of humour and a constantly sharp perspective. Sammy played his didgeridoo a lot and annoyed people a bit when we played cards.
THE DRIVER AND GUIDE
Steve was an absolute enigma, a very complex guy. 54, born in Oodnadatta (baking hot, red sand, middle of nowehere), he was fascinating to talk to about practically any subject. He was a trained biologist and worked for the South Australia museum. He'd also been a teacher, had a son of nine years by a Portugese mother, spoke Spanish, had a wide range of great and unheard music. But he could also be stressed, pompous, pedantic, and distant. I liked him a lot.
Steve had some very bad luck on the trip. The night before we visited Uluru - which involved a 4AM start, in time for the sunrise - we'd been celebrating Sofia's birthday (terrific photo of Steve and Sofia). Steve had told us that the resort from which we accessed Uluru, Yulara, was very strict, with odd laws, especially about alcohol sales. So it was no surprise to see cops at the entrance to the Uluru National Park. What was more surprising was the fact that our jeep got stopped by the cops. And Steve was breathalysed. He failed once, so tried again. He'd drunk a fair bit of rum, and it was early morning. so he failed the second test. He got out of the jeep and a fat Aussie copper got in, and told us that he was going to have to take us back to Yulara, and that Steve would be taken to the station.
This meant no sunrise at Uluru for us, but far worse consequences for Steve.
I found out a couple of weeks later that not only had lost his licence, but that he'd been fired. He spoke at the start of the trip that this would be his last time, anyway. What at the time seemed like over-zealous policing is a sensible policy, of course, but it just felt heavy-handed, as the roads were clogged with coaches and jeeps all going the same way, to see the sunrise, so there was practically no chance of speeding, or causing harm. Eeeeeeso.
THE LANDSCAPES AND ECOSYSTEMS OF THE OUTBACK
The outback is a geniunely fascinating, beautiful, delicate and moving environment. My ignorance had anticipated a vast desert with pretty much nothing in it, but this was far from the case. We saw reptiles and snakes: goannas, thorny devils, perenties (snakelike and about 2 metres long), bearded lizards, a shingleback skink, a Western Brown snake which had been fatally wounded by another vehicle - Steve picked it up by the tail and it just went for him again, and again - this is a very dangerous animal. Birds - stupid emus, wedge-tailed eagles, bush pigeons, crows, magpies, finches, farm chickens. Mammals and marsupials - red kangaroos, stocky Euro roos, rock wallabies hiding in the stone, camels, wild horses, wild donkeys looking a damn sight healthier than their domesticated cousins - buffalo, cattle, sheep, goats. Insects and spiders - stick insects, crickets, moths, butterflies, big deadly spiders, harmless spiders called trapdoors, scorpions, centipedes, huge ants, termites. And these beasts inhabit a harsh, hot environment. Their behaviour tends to be dictated by the climate, so when it rains - and it rained more than I'd anticipate - the spiders come out and hunt on the ground to catch crickets, the crickets come out to hunt midges, and the floor teems with life.
***This is not the end of the description but just an interlude. Will write more later, particularly about my birthday, and the jeep thing...***
